My doctors all agree it is time for surgery and making some rather large changes to my life and body. Since being diagnosed with Atypical a symmetrical polyarthritis, my body undergoes degeneration or revision. In 2010, a judged decided because I was disabled that I could not take care of my home and signed an eviction to force me to move. My home was accessible to me in certain ways.
I gave birth to my son in 1996, who was diagnosed later with High – Functioning Autism.
While raising my son I worked part-time, went to school, and had two young children.
For pretty much 20 years I underwent periods of severe orthopedic limitations, not working, and very little financial support and physical. My husband and I separated when my children were quite young. He had a severe learning issue and my family lived out of state and were very emotionally distant. As I became more disabled, everything fell apart.
In 2008, the housing bubble burst. We had a home valued around 400K. At that time, it became clear after my hips and knees were replaced that my shoulders had no cartilage left. I could not hold a gallon jug. My only choice was a shoulder replacement. My work as a school psychologist, psychotherapist, and social Mom were over. I was told by my lawyer that I would, “always have a problem raising my kids.” When it was clear that I thought that I would never work then my ex-husband stopped paying the mortgage because of my health. Then he determined to get fired become depressed and sell the house no matter what the cost.
So he made a case that I was apathetic, drank too much and gave up. I fired my lawyer because she resented me questioning her feedback and cruel declarations. I lost everything in terms of my ex – husband forced me out of the house. My name was not on the deed due to student loan debt that I could not pay back.
I lost my kids for two months and did get back on my feet when I got disability and figured out how to survive with some financial curves in the road. I fell out of a truck and lost a great deal more mobility and almost died 2014. My brother was later diagnosed in 2014 with Lung Cancer and died in early 2015.
Currently, I own a small business and do social media marketing and disability advocacy.
Now I have two teens and my daughter graduates this year. Slowly, I lost connections with friends and family. I do not see them due to traveling is difficult and some of the family have not spoken to me since my brother died. I am isolated and depressed because my
who is on the autistic spectrum helps take care of me. I cannot afford to pay my rent and get attendant care. When I move the nursing home or public housing are my only options as it seems at this time.
Now, I need to see a bariatric surgery. Lose disability money because my daughter is 18 soon. When she graduates, the child support will end. I will have less than poverty. How do I look forward to my future and want to get more surgery? When is it okay to stop being fixed? This is why I tweet about having a disability, poverty, and isolation.
It seems we want to glorify motherhood. This worries me for children because women were biologically designed to have children and sadly there are women who have no choice. More women can have children. Raising children to be well – rounded people is an expensive and a physically challenging commitment. It is my hope that for women who have disabilities that they can choose to do what is the best choice for them. No matter what your condition allow yourself to be whole first. I earned my titles, my education, adventures befor the worst onset. I chose to have children and I love them. Knowing the struggles of being a woman with a disability, I think we need to have more open discussions about parenting. This should not be from an ableist perspective. The key to being successful lies with the minority group. We need to answer for ourselves what is reasonable to expect from society and ourselves.
I just want to express a place to start the discussion. So I am hip to ride the curves and my
challenges no matter what.